Just a few thoughts

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Saturday, January 19, 2013

Twists and Turns With the Gods

As I may have mentioned in the past, for a very long time I felt Hekate's presence in my life. I always knew, in the back of my mind, that she was a guide and probably wouldn't be a huge presence in my life forever. However, I didn't expect things to end so suddenly. A few months ago (well, almost a year ago, really), I started to feel like she was withdrawing from my life a bit. It wasn't like, "Oh, you've pissed me off, screw you, you're on your own now kid!" It was more like, "Ah, finally you've seen where your new journey begins," with a smile attached.

Basically, everything started when I was a kid. I was completely fascinated with Norse and Celtic mythology and the Gods and other entities from those pantheons. I know I have a lot of Irish and Scotts-Irish blood, with a smidge of English, Native American and who knows what else, but I didn't really learn that until later, after the infatuation began.

For years I avoided all things Norse because of the awful things I'd heard about not only the Gods, but Asatru and the like as well. Eventually I began to discard the horror stories about the Gods because I'd come to know and love Hekate, and people had also told me how terrifying and horrible She is. But still, for some reason after reaching adulthood I didn't think the Norse Gods would be as approachable as Gods from other pantheons. No idea why, that's just how it was for some reason.

Then came the first dream that's had me puzzled for months.

 I was in a library, which I think represents a search for knowledge. It was a really, really messy library. Some bookshelves, but mostly the books were everywhere, floor to ceiling, in stacks or scattered across desks and chairs. The whole place was kind of old fashioned and I think I might have lived there, or at least owned it because I was alone with my husband (I think) and all the lights were off (or didn't exist). I was frantically searching through the books by candlelight, while my husband casually ignored my frustration as he read a book off to the side. I think the candlelight represents a search for knowledge, enlightenment, or something spiritual. Finally, in the dream, I had an "Ah ha!" moment as I came across a portion of a handwritten note (my handwriting) that only said "Woden." The rest of the piece of paper was gone and the paper was torn around the edges, but I could see traces of other words around "Woden," like I had been taking notes at some point while reading.

I rarely remember my dreams for more than two seconds after I wake up, but  this dream occurred months ago and I can still see it perfectly, and it's still a mystery to me. Others have suggested that it was Odin's way of catching my attention and testing me to see if I would try to work out the puzzle. If anyone has read this and has any thoughts to add, please do.

Since that dream, Freya, Frigg and Odin have been popping up everywhere, from other dreams to books and everything in between. It's just like when Hekate appeared in my life, only I've never experienced this with more than one Deity before. Hell, I've never felt a connection at all to more than one Deity at a time ever before, and I've only felt a connection between more than one Deity within the same pantheon once or twice (Hekate/Hestia is the only example I can think of).

Just when I started to feel like I was really getting to know Hekate, all this happened. It's so confusing and frustrating, but I knew something big like this was coming for a long time. I guess I'll just have to keep moving forward and see where this new path leads.

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